odysseyone

My husband Justin and I are swine flu survivors. At least that’s what we’re telling ourselves. While our swine flu was self-diagnosed and doesn’t count among the 14,000 or so confirmed cases in Australia, the real figure must be much higher and there’s no reason why we couldn’t be one of the possibly tens of thousands of unconfirmed cases. As a journalist, I love nothing more than to get my ‘hands dirty’ - figuratively speaking – so to become a statistic of an international flu is exhilarating. If only I caught the flu when it was in its infancy, I would have had a free check up, maybe even my first dose of Tamiflu and have hit the headlines instead of reporting on them.

Our swine flu experience was no ordinary one because we suffered complications- mainly being unemployed. Being unemployed by choice can be very exhausting, even on a good day. A leisurely stroll on the beach can leave me bed ridden with a book and a cup of tea for hours while I rest to regain my energy. Since becoming fugitives from Japan (which is another story in itself) and hibernating back on the Sunshine Coast, I have spent a lot of time in supermarkets hunting down bargains. After self-diagnosing myself with swine flu, I traced the likely source of my infection back to these nasty supermarkets, which I think are a cesspit for germs. But did we really have swine flu or just a bad case of unemployment fatigue? There was definitely something going on. Within two days of me coming down with swine flu, Justin was bed ridden for two hours or so- it was frightening! The two worst patients in the world lazing about with no one to look after them. We couldn’t even call in sick and claim sick pay- I felt ill just thinking about being unwell and no one paying me for it.

I was able to self-diagnose my illness with the aid of the new swine flu hotline launched in the UK earlier this month. While I obviously didn’t have access to this hotline, I took note of the advice being handed out to sick people in the UK and I had their symptoms: dry throat, tired (but that could be the unemployed problem rearing its ugly head), headache and runny nose. If only Australia had such a hotline- we could boost our swine flu numbers overnight with all the unemployed people calling in because they can’t afford to go to the doctor. Without confirmation from a medical practitioner I took the next best step, following the advice of the health minister and quarantining myself, which wasn’t inconvenient and gave me a good reason not to go out and spend money.

Swine flu was also a blessing in disguise for Justin. Like most men, he thinks having a cold must be what it feels like to have cancer, so to actually come down with H1N1 and survive has been a boost for his confidence. We both have hypochondriac tendencies, so after surviving our near brush with death we’re determined to make the most of our time and what better way to do that than driving off into the sunset on an odyssey around Australia.